Ever feel a little crazy?

If not, then lucky you.  I’m not sure that there was any one thing to blame for nearly absolutely losing my mind and lashing out. It’s an unfortunate situation when it happens, but it does. This morning, I woke up to an alarm I had errantly set for an hour earlier than I needed to wake, followed by incessant chatter from my roomates along with having fallen back asleep only to wake up late.

As a creature of habit, I tend to follow certain rites in the morning and among these are 1. checking my emails; 2. checking Facebook; 3. responding to each. There’s something to be said for those people who belong on Facebook and other social media sites/groups (e.g., Twitter) and for those who do not. Angry and hyperstressed people do not belong on these sites as they tend to act erratically and without thought.  This morning, I chose to take the crazy route. I call this, “Stepping into Psycho.”

My only quasi defense – as weak as it may be – would argue that I have been going without a governor at a helacious speed, stressed health, my work or lack thereof has mental gears grinding with not progress and my social network is in chaos with friends stuck in relationship messes, best friends coping with growing pains and boyfriend out-of-town – not to mention my car overheating today.

Stepping into Psycho can not only affect those around you, but it most certainly and assuredly affects most clost and dear to you. Today, I felt like I pulled down the walls of a damn and flooded those closest to me with fury totally misguided and ill-directed, along with poorly communicated. As with any storm after its havoc has been wrecked over its victims, the eerie calmness that pulls itself from the rubbish begins to look around, listen and wait. It waits for the commentary that will ensue its temper tantrum, the retalitory rhetoric that will fly and the tears, if any, that will fall. I wonder if a passing storm ever turns its head as it passes homes and cities whom it’s fury wrecked or if passes because that what storms do.

A friend of mine counseled me today, validating my feelings but rebuking my expressions thereof. It made me think of a bible verse I heard when I was younger: “He who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself from calamity.” It’s a shame we remember these axioms after the atom bombs. Along the same lines, the same tongue by which we bless and kiss, love and woo, is the same by which we hate and slander.

Today was a ugly reminder to myself of how quickly I can allow the unrelated events of a moment pollute my vision and begin a domino effect into my day and of how challenging and important it is to step away from the affected and emotive variables of a situation in order to fruitfully and wholly address it because in the end, it isn’t all about me.