I’m a fool, maybe even a glutton, for romance novels. It may be my lack of experience with romance or my misfortune for love. Either way, I enjoy reading about it and seeing how others experience it. I don’t prefer, however, the romance that evolves so perfectly without opposition or strife; just the same, I don’t appreciate the love that always ends well predictably perfect.

I think that romance can exist in the most inhospitable of hosts. Moreover, I think that love can exist sans romance and vice versa. In the book, which I’m currently reading Helen of Troy by Margaret George, the retelling of the Trojan War from the perspective of Helen, Helen is wed to Melenaus, whom he loves. Yet at the ebb of her marriage she pleaded to gods for their blessings and, mistakenly, forgot to include Aphrodite – the goddess of passion, beauty and sensuality. She revered firstly Hera – the spouse to Zeus, the husband who favors her but whom she cannot please.

In fury and retaliation, Aphrodite begrudged Helen passion in her marriage. She had the blessings of the other gods and goddesses – loyalty, honesty and amity. She loved Melenaus but lacked passion. One morning while searching for shellfish, Helen encounters Aphrodite who offers her blessings to Helen.  The blessing works, however, the passion is affected Helen only to Paris and not to Melenaus.

Although this story is not one of the classics, thus far it offers something to digest.  How often does one find the perfect person, only to discover s/he is bereft of one thing? I’ve also been reading “Dating the Greek Gods” oddly enough, and it more or less treats this same question. I’ve always been enamoured with the mythos of the Greeks and Romans. In dating or in love and romance, I see that we need to evoke these archetypes, these gods, to realize what we offer and where we must grow. It’s necessary to bridge the gaps in love and romance, by following Apollo and learn from where we’ve lacked and follow the creative spirit of Hephaestus, indulging in the sensuality of Dionysus and beauty of Aphrodite, and communing with Hermes.

If we want passion, we must create it for ourselves and within ourselves; otherwise, we’ll idolize and follow a lie of Aphrodite, which is void of Eros. We’ll lose our Self and Troy all over again.